Style - Write a Final Comment

What is a final comment

• The last sentence of your essay conclusion paragraph
• Should be aimed at the READER (students in Japan)
• Usually a
  • recommendation (“Students who want to help should”, “If you go to my hometown, you should”)
  • prediction (“If we do nothing, then the result will be X”)
  • quote (“According to…”)
  • plan (“The next step will be to “)

1) Recommendations are easiest. Start like this:

• Recommendation
  • As such, university students should
  • As such, Japanese people should
  • One thing that people who want to help could do is
  • Anyone reading this who wants to …

2) Use a PRACTICAL verb

• Something the reader can actually do
  • join a circle
  • donate
  • go to the gym
  • drink more water
  • volunteer
  • write a protest letter to someone who can change things
  • buy
  • stop buying
• Avoid recommending actions to people who will not read your essay
  • Avoid
    • As such, the government of Japan should
    • As such, convenience stores should
  • Instead say
    • People who want to help should write to their local politician and ask that
    • People who want to help should write to Lawson head office and ask that
• Avoid impossible recommendations
  • Avoid
    • You should go to the gym three times a day!
    • Students should volunteer to repair World Heritage sites in Syria.
  • Instead say
    • You should start slowly, by walking every day at least 5000 steps.
    • Students should volunteer to work with NGOs in Japan with their Japanese language fundraising.

4) Add SPECIFIC advice

• Don’t just tell me to donate. Tell me WHO to donate to. Give me the donation link.
• Don’t just tell me buy Fairtrade. Tell me where I can get it online/in Tokyo/ on Campus
• Don’t just tell me to go to the gym. Where is it? WHat are the opening hours?
• Don’t just tell me to drink more water. How much? What kind? Is ice OK?

Other types

• iBT TOEFL versions
  • Final Comment is often a “choice” or personal decision
  • I can understand why some people do X. However, I will do Y
  • Next year, I will
  • In the future, I will try harder to X
  • Next, I hope to
• Sports News article usually plans or quotes
  • “In the next game”
  • When asked, the coach said “”
• Instruction essays end with a reminder or end product
  • Remember not to eat them before they are cool!
  • Don’t forget to …
• Longer works, like a dissertation, you would have multiple comments
  • At the end of the introduction and literature review: decisions made about research methods or questions and why
  • In the discussion chapter: implications, future research

Other final comment phrases

• The main conclusion that can be drawn is that
• The principle conclusion is that
• In the end, the
• Because of all this,
• In light of the above,
• All this lends support to the notion that
• All in all, this suggests that
• What this means is that,
• As a consequence,
• Overall, the evidence suggests that
• Taken together, this all implies that